This story has been written by a member of DWA. It is the first time it has been shared, so for now wants to remain anonymous. It is difficult for anyone to share their story, more so for this person as they feel very guilty. I know any comments will be that of support. xx
Last February my life had just changed, I lost the love of my life, we broke up due to lots of reasons but I really couldn’t do it anymore, it killed me everyday trying to cope, I went bitter towards him as remembered all the things he done! A few weeks later I kept complaining to my mum that my breasts were so sore and havnt had my period yet. Still I was oblivious. Then I decided to take a pregnancy test what was the harm in that, I knew I wasn’t pregnant! Then my whole life fell apart I was angry at myself, at him, I hated everything! I didn’t want this baby, i couldn’t cope with it I sat and cried for hours! After a goods night sleep I thought more deeply into this, wow I was going to be a mother! I became to love my beautiful creation the next step was to tell the father, when I told him he was ecstatic he couldn’t believe it as after 4years of trying and a few medications and nothing happening so giving up it finally came true..! We got so close and he moved back in with me so we could try again!
The months went on everything was looking fine! Baby was healthy and perfect!.
Then at 6 1/2 months I didn’t realise my world was going to fall apart!
I went home after doing some shopping and some little girlie bits, no one was home. A bit later my partner come home, he was so drunk, I said something about it, I made him mad very mad, he shouted, I shouted to stick up for myself I felt so alone, he started to get aggressive, he pushed me but I was fine, I tried to walk away I didn’t want this but it was all my fault I shouldn’t have opened my mouth and just been happy, when I walked away it made him worse, he pushed me again and this time was different(not that I knew this at the time) my whole body hurt after that I needed my bed so that’s where I crawled to. When I got up the next day I didn’t feel right and I knew something was up but I didn’t want to believe it, until that evening I went into labour when my beautiful baby was born, my baby survived out side of me for 2:40 mins! The most amazing time of my life! My baby was beautiful I didn’t know that my baby was going to now be taken from me all because I opened my mouth. My baby will never be forgotten, I watched my baby die in my arms seeing the little heart stop beating…!