I am 30 years old, I’m a type 1 diabetic, I fell pregnant at 18 years of age with my first daughter Rebecca who was born at 33 weeks by section due to fetal distress, she is now a healthy 10 year old, I then fell pregnant with my first son at age 20, Kyle was born at 36 weeks due to developing pre eclampsia, Kyle was also born my section and is now a healthy 9 year old, I then went on to fall pregnant at age 25 with my second daughter who was born by section at 37 weeks, Hannah is now a healthy 5 year old.
All of my living children were born at the same hospital in the north east. I then moved to north Wales, this year I fell pregnant with my 4th child, my 3rd daughter, who was born at 37 weeks by section baby Rosie, weighing 8lb13 at 11.32pm on August 26 2014. Sadly Rosie was asleep.
Let me tell you my story of how our Rosie became an Angel…From the very moment I seen those 2 pink lines, I was scared, happy, worried, but I fell in love, so deeply in love, she was always going to be named Rosie from the very start, I felt her grow, I felt her move, her hiccups I knew when she slept and woke, I sang to her every single day and night “you are my sunshine” we couldn’t wait to see her beautiful little face, we just knew exactly what she would be like “chubby with a grumpy Lil face” just like her mammy.
From around 28 weeks I started to feel like things weren’t right, I seen my obstetrician many times I expressed to him that I knew something wasn’t right I kept telling him, at one time, I was 32 weeks I was sent straight from my scan to the assessment ward to be monitored as they were worried, they put the heart monitor on me and Rosie’s heartbeat dipped for nearly 20 minutes, I sat and cried fearing the worst, her heartbeat went back to normal, they sent me home I didn’t want to leave I wanted to keep that machine on forever! Each time I seen the doctor I told him “something is not right” I told them she needed to be born, he said they had to weigh out the options of Rosie being small and unwell or big and unwell.
I was always in agony and didn’t feel right. But each time I was sent away. Rosie was due to be born on 2nd September by section. So they decided a week before she was born they would give me steroid treatment for her lungs, so August 26th I arrived at hospital at 2pm for an over night stay, I told the midwife I had been having terrible pains all day, we were given our bed and told she would be back as soon as she could as they were very busy.
After 7pm the midwife returned with the heart monitor and steroid injection, she injected me with the steroids, then put the jelly and probe on my bump, I said to her “something is wrong” she tried for 20 minutes and couldn’t find no sign of heartbeat, she told me not to worry as it was because I was carrying too much water, the doctor then quickly appeared with an ultrasound scan, I didn’t look at the screen, I couldn’t, I knew, the doctor looked in my eyes and said I’m so sorry, shaking his head.
I fell to my knees and I screamed, I screamed like an animal,I screamed like that for hours, the pain in my heart was unreal. Holding my bump, holding our Rosie, I was taken in for a section, the last thing I remember is getting a message from my sister saying I wish there was something I could do, I said “kelly there is, pray please pray that they’ve made a mistake” baby Rosie was born at 11.32pm the most beautiful little girl you ever did see, so tiny yet so so chubby with a load of jet black hair, I held her for hours, all night lookin at every single part of her body, from her hair to hertiny toes.
I knew I had to get ready to say goodbye, few more hours passed and it was time, we had to say goodbye to our beautiful little girl before we got the chance to say hello. Rosie has definitely taken a part of me with her which I don’t think will ever return, but I know that way she will never be alone. We miss rosie and love her so very much. Xxx