About Daddys with Angels (May 2014)

CONTENTS

 

Page 2 The Beginning

Page 3 Structure

Page 4 What Makes Daddys With Angels Different

Page 5 Community Page

Page 6 Dads Only Group

Page 7 Mums And Dads Group

Page 8 Youtube

Page 9 Blog

Page 10 Appendix (DWA Documents)

 

 

The Beginning

After the sudden loss of my son, Travers-James (T J) in November 2010, I was left feeling alone and on the back burner whilst my wife received a lot of attention. I don’t mean that as a criticism to her, it’s just the way it goes, she was entitled to that.

I was told that we didn’t meet the criteria for SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Support) as TJ was too old. He was just 14 months old. I scoured the net for support groups, but were told there was a waiting list, it will cost or there was nothing for men.

As time went on my grief didn’t become any easier so I decided to set something up myself, hoping to find some support with other men who had lost a child or children. I had just joined Facebook, so I decided to start there as it was free and I was sure that I could find some more angel dads.

I set up a page and called it Daddys With Angels, but soon realised that not everyone on Facebook was sympathetic to grieving parents, some even being vile, so I closed the page and set up a closed group. The group grew, and some time later, I received a message asking for some advice from an angel mum on how to get her husband to open up after losing their child. This type of enquiry from angel mums became more common and so in time, I opened another group for both angel mums and dads. (More information about these groups can be found on Pages 5 & 6)

More and more people were sending messages to the group asking for advice, poems or graphics for their angels but didn’t want to join the groups. Having learnt from my previous experience, I opened another page to meet the needs of those who didn’t feel comfortable joining a group.

Today, Daddys With Angels has two groups, a community page, a twitter account, a Youtube channel, a blog and two pro-board forums, which are also free to join for those who are in need of advice and support following the loss of a child/children and also available to those who may not wish to join Facebook. Our future plans for Daddys With Angels are laid out in our constitution (see document no 1 for further information.

Whilst the primary aim of Daddys With Angels still remains supporting male members of families following the loss of a child/children, we do not exclude anyone from getting some sort of support even if it is just finding a poem.

No one should feel alone in their grief and Daddys With Angels has begun to fill the gap in the lack of support that I found when I lost my son, not just for me, but for other men and women. However, we do have some way to go in reaching those who are finding themselves alone in their pain.

Daddys With Angels head office is based in Northampton, England, but its groups and pages support members as well as others from all over the world.

 

Structure

Director, Founder and Chairperson:

Paul Scully-Sloan

Secretary:

Samantha Allington

Treasurer:

Leigh Scully

Trustees:

Paul Scully-Sloan

Carl Birks

Sharon Miller

Louise Barker-Moss

Toni Shortland

Leigh Scully

Storme Scully

Eleanor Woods

 

Members

 

Daniel Deakin

Pete Bates

Amanda Dowse

 

Administration:

Community Page –

Paul Scully Sloan – Manager

Daniel Deakin – Content Creator

Pete Bates

Andrea Anderson

Facebook Group (mums and dads)

Paul Scully-Sloan

Pete Bates

Daniel Deakin

 

Facebook Group (dads only)

Paul Scully-Sloan

Daniel Deakin

Leif Kelly

 

Twitter, Blog, Mums and Dads Forum, Dads Only forum

Paul Scully-Sloan

 

What Makes Daddys With Angels Different

 

When someone joins Daddys With Angels they are considered family. They are not just offered advice and support about having an angel, but anything that is affecting their daily lives. This can range from diet, domestic abuse or advice on relationships. The administrators can be contacted in private to discuss anything they need or want to. Sometimes what can seem like a great burden for some can be resolved with a group discussion or private messages.

At Daddys With Angels it doesn’t[ matter how old your angel was when they grew their wings or how they grew their wings, if you are a genuine angel parent you are welcome. We have parents whose children were born too soon, died of cancer or other diseases, committed suicide or have been murdered. There are very few situations, relating to the way an angel has grown it’s wings, that we have not come across within Daddys With Angels.

 

 

Community Page

Our community page can be found on Facebook and all it’s contents is public. This means it can be seen even if you have not joined Facebook. The primary task of our community page is to share links to our child loss groups. (*These links can be found in the footnotes of this page and pages 5 & 6 as well as in document 7)

The main page allows us to share pictures, poems, videos, graphics and anything angel related that we feel the followers of our page would like to see. We also take requests to make graphics for special occasions, find poems, songs or anything else our followers request. There is also a message facility where we can answer questions, signpost or offer advice and support to individuals or groups.

Although Daddys With Angels primary task is to support those who have lost a child we do not restrict our posts on our community page to this. We make posts that are suitable for anyone who has lost a loved one.

Feedback we have had from one of our members:

A lot of the poems have helped me through many bad days”Andrea

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Footnote:

*The link to our community page is: http://www.facebook/DaddysWithAngels?ref=hl

 

Dads Only Group

Many men – grandfathers, dads, uncles and brothers suffer the loss of a child. These events are and can be sudden and unexpected and leave families, friends and communities devastated. The feelings and emotions which come with grief can often leave us in a place where we do not know what to say, how to express our grief or talk with others around us about our loss. That is not uncommon, and it is okay.

There are a lot of gender expectations for males to be strong, keep the family together and carry on. Daddys with angels asks why should you? We give you the opportunity to share how you a feeling, discuss ways n helping you togrieve. You ca share about your agel. Yoan rant or be sad. You will not be criticised in this group.

All Daddys With Angels groups are closed groups so that you have the extra security of everything staying within the group. Please also avoid the word sorry. No one should feel this way becausethey have an angel or because they are experiencing feelings of loss.

 

Feedback:

“It helps me out a lot, I haven’t commented ng inside isn’t a lot in the past, something I hope to change, but I have found out the hard way, keeping everything inside isn’t healthy for me.” – Jason

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Footnote:

*The link to the Dads Only Group is: http://www.facebook.com/groups329303123838641/

 

Mums And Dads Only Group

When a Family suffers the loss of a child, these events are and can be sudden and unexpected and leave families, friends and communities devastated. The feelings and emotions which come with grief can often leave us in a place where we do not know what to say, how to express our grief or talk with others around us about our loss. That is not uncommon, and it is okay.

At Daddys With Angels we give you the opportunity to share how you are feeling and discuss ways to help you grieve. You can share your story, rant or be sad or even share pictures of your angel. You will not be criticised in this group.

All Daddys With Angels groups are closed groups so you have the added security of everything staying confidential. Since the setting up of this group, I have never seen any negative comments about anyone in the group. Please also avoid the word sorry as no one should ever feel sorry for having an angel or because they are experiencing feelings of loss.

Feedback:

“Helped me so much, I don’t feel isolated and alone anymore and I have gotten to a really good place in my grief, also by helping other grieving parents, it helps so much letting them know their angels matter and aren’t being forgotten and in many ways honours your own angels memory.” – Kirsty

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Footnote:

The link to Daddys With Angels Group for Mums and Dads is: http://www.facebook.com/groups/136004399807343/?fref=ts

YouTube Channel

Our Youtube channel acts as a musical memorial to our angels. We have a play list which includes songs that were played at funerals or songs which bring happy memories about our angels. We also upload personal videos that were made for our angels such as montages and videos to raise awareness where parents and families talk about the loss of a child within their family.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Footnote:

The link to our Youtube channel is: http://www.youtube.com/user/DaddysWithAngels?feature=mhee

Blog

Our blog is a place where members of Daddys With Angels can share their stories to show others that it is okay to talk about loss. It is also another forum to share graphics and pictures and where in the future we might have a memorial wall to remember all our angels.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Footnote:

The link to our blog is: http://DaddysWithAngels-wordpress.com

 

APPENDIX

Document 1 – Constitution (4 Pages)

Document 2 – Child Protection Policy (2 Pages)

Document 3 – Equality and diversity Policy (3 Pages)

Document 4 – Vulnerable Adults Protection Policy (2 Pages)

Document 5 – Vulnerable Adults Protection Procedure (3 Pages)

Document 6 – Vulnerable Adults Protection Code of Good Practice (2 Page)

Document 7 – Glossary (1 Page)

Document 8 – Links (1 Page)

 

 

 

 

CONSTITUTION

 

  1. Name

The name of the organisation shall be: Daddys With Angels

 

  1. Aim.

The aim of Daddys With Angels shall be:

 

  1. To provide advice and support to male family members following the loss of a child(ren).

  2. To provide advice and support to other family members in order for them to support male family mebers following the loss of a child(ren)

  3. To provide advice and support to any other person of any gender, who has lost a child(ren), family member or other loved one

  4. To work in conjunction with other groups and organisations to establish a network of child and infant first aid and resuscitation courses

 

  1. Powers

In order to achieve its aim Daddys With Angels may:

 

  1. Raise money

  2. Open bank accounts

  3. Acquire and run buildings

  4. Take out insurance

  5. Employ staff

  6. Organise courses and events

  7. Work with similar groups and organisations and exchange information and advice with them

  8. Do anything that is lawful which will help it to fulfil its aim

 

  1. Membership

  1. Members of Daddys With Angels shall be open to any individual over eighteen without regards to disability, political or religious affiliation, race, gender or sexual orientation who is:

 

  1. Interested in helping Daddys With Angels to achieve its aim

  2. Willing to abide by the rules of Daddys With Angels and

  3. Willing to pay any subscription fee agreed by the Management Committee

 

  1. The membership of any member may be terminated for good reason by the Management Committee: Provided that the member concerned shall have the right to be heard by the Management Committee, accompanied by a friend, before a final decision has been made.

 

  1. Management

  1. Daddys With Angels shall be administered by a Management Committee of not less than three and not more than ten individuals elected at the organisation’s Annual General Meeting (A.G.M)

  2. The Officers of the Management Committee shall be: The Chairperson, The Treasurer and The Secretary

  3. The Management Committee may co-opt onto the Committee, up to three individuals, in an advisory and non-voting capacity that it feels will help to fulfil the aims of Daddys With Angels

  4. The Management Committee shall meet at least two times per year

  5. At least three Management Committee members must be present for a Management Committee meeting to take place

  6. Voting at Management Committee meetings shall be by a show of hands. If there is a tied vote then the Chairpersons shall have a second vote

  7. The Management Committee shall have the power to remove any member of the Committee for good and proper reason

  8. The Management Committee may appoint any other member of Daddys With Angels as a Committee member to fill a vacancy, provided that the maximum prescribed is not exceeded

 

  1. The Duties of the Officers

 

  1. The duties of the Chairperson shall be to:

 

  1. Chair meetings of the Committee and Daddys With Angels

  2. Represent Daddys With Angels at functions/meetings that Daddys With Angels has been invited to and

  3. Act as the spokesperson of Daddys With Angels when necessary

 

  1. The duties of the Secretary shall be to:

 

  1. Keep a membership list

  2. Prepare in consultation with the Chairperson the agenda for meetings of the Committee and Daddys With Angels

  3. Take and keep minutes of all meetings and

  4. Collect and circulate any relevant information with in Daddys With Angels

 

  1. The duties of the Treasurer shall be:

 

  1. Supervise the financial affairs of Daddys With Angels and

  2. Keep proper accounts that show all monies received and paid out by Daddys With Angels

 

  1. Finance

 

  1. All monies received by or on behalf of Daddys With Angels shall be applied to further the aim of Daddys With Angels and for no other purpose

  2. Any bank accounts opened for Daddys With Angels shall be in the name of Daddys With Angels

  3. Any cheques issued shall be signed by the Treasurer and one other nominated member of the Mangement Committee

  4. Daddys With Angels shall ensure that its accounts are audited or independently examined every year

  5. Daddys With Angels may pay reasonable out of pocket expenses including travel, childcare and meal costs to members or Management Committee members

 

  1. Annual General Meetings

 

  1. Daddys With Angels shall hold an Annual General Meeting (A.G.M) in th month of January

  2. All members shall be given at least fourteen days notice of the A.G.M and shall be entitled to attend and vote

  3. The business of the A.G.M shall include:

  • Receiving a report from the Chairperson on Daddys With Angels activities over the year

  • Receiving a report from the Treasurer on the finances of Daddys With Angels

  • Electing a new Management Committee and

  • Considering any other matter as may be decided

  1. At least 3 members must be present for the Annual General Meeting and any other General meeting to take place.

 

  1. General Meetings

 

  1. There shall be at least two General Meetings (excluding the A.G.M) each year

  2. All members shall be entitled to attend and vote

 

  1. Special General Meeting

 

A Special General Meeting may be called by the Management Committee or members to discuss an urgent matter. The Secretary shall give all members fourteen days notice of any Special General Meeting together with notice of the business to be discussed.

 

  1. Alterations to the Constituion

 

Any changes to this Constitution must be agreed by at lest two-thirds of those members present and voting at any General Meeting

 

  1. Dissolution

 

Daddys With Angels may be wound up at any time if agreed by two-thirds of those members present and voting at any Geneal Meeting. In the event of winding up any assets remaining after all debts have been paid shall be given to another group or organisation with a similar aim as Daddys With Angels.

 

  1. Adoption of the Constitution

 

Until the first A.G.M takes place the persons whose names, addresses and signatures appear at the bottom of this document shall act as the Management Committee referred to in this constitution.

 

This Constitution was adopted on by:

 

Name…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

 

Address…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

 

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

 

Signature……………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

 

 

 

 

Child Protection Policy

 

  1. The administrators of Daddys With Angels have a duty of care for any children and young people who use any of its support pages

  2. Social network sites have shown examples of child exploitation and grooming. Any administrator who has ANY concern that a child or young person being exploited or groomed MUST inform a director immediately

  3. On receiving the concern the director will:

  1. Screenshot and review the concern directly from the page

  2. Report and block the person who concern has been alleged of exploiting or grooming the child or young person

  3. The director will then pass on the information to the local police in the area in which the alleged person lives

IT IS NOT THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE ADMINISTRATOR TO DISCUSS ANY CONCERN WITH THE CHILD/YOUNG PERSON OR THE PERSON WHO THE CONCERN HAS BEEN RAISED ABOUT.

Any concern which is noted in any of the Daddys With Angels groups may or may not be unfounded and could be the tip of the iceberg. Any investigation should be carried out by experienced and qualified people.

Should any external investigations be proven it is important that we show that we have not spoken to anyone connected with the concern. Talking to a child or young person can be considered as coaching and may influence any outcome of investigation or prosecution.

Confidentiality Conflict

All Daddys With Angels groups are closed. This allows administrators to vet any person wishing to join the groups. When vetting any potential member, administration cannot be 100% certain that profiles are genuine or the person who uses the profile is of good character. There will always be this risk. The safety and welfare of any child or young person using Daddys With Angels group must be paramount. Any information passed on to any external agency with reference to any concern is done in good faith for the protection of the child or young person and overrides any unwritten assumptions made by members that nothing discussed within the group, will be discussed outside of the group.

What To Look Out For

Noticing anything of concern is not a perfection science. It should be recognised that concern is just that. Administrators are not responsible for the end product of any concern, just in the raising of that concern. Here are some things to look out for:

  1. Someone asking for personal intimate details

  2. Someone asking another to private mail (PM) them

  3. Inappropriate comments or words

  4. Any suggestion of meeting up/or becoming pen pals

This list is not exhaustive. Overall administrators must use their common sense. Whilst there may be the potential retribution for raising concern it is better that the concern be passed on and investigated than a child or young person to be at risk of exploitation or grooming.

The director will deal with any backlash or any other difficulties that arise as a result of a concern being raised, so that administrators may be allowed to concentrate on their role of supporting the members of the Daddys With Angels groups.

If you have any concerns of questions relating to this document please contact the director.

 

 

 

Equality and diversity Policy

 

Policy Statement

Daddys With Angels is committed to pursuing non-discriminatory practices and policies and is actively working to create and environment in which there is equality of opportunity for its members.

Daddys With Angels is opposed to any form of discrimination, harassment or bullying on the grounds of race, colour, sex, gender, identity (transgender), disability, nationality, national or ethnic origin, religion or belief, marital/civil partnership/partnership status, caring responsibilities, sexual orientation, pregnancy and maternity, age, educational background, social class, employment status, working pattern, trade union membership or any other irrelevant factor.

This policy will relate to all activities undertaken by Daddy’s With Angels including service delivery, meeting the needs of its clients, dealing with volunteers, employment, recruitment and selection and working with suppliers and third parties.

Daddy’s With Angels recognises that the Equality Act 2010 came in to effect October 200 and builds on and strengthens previous equality legislation. The Act prohibits discrimination either directly or indirectly against what are now termed as Protected Characteristics. These are:

  • Age

  • Disability

  • Gender Reassignment

  • Marriage and Civil Partnership

  • Race

  • Religion or Belief (including Lack of Belief)

  • Gender

  • Sexual Orientation

  • Pregnancy and Maternity

Clients

Daddys With Angels expects representatives of the organisation to conduct themselves in a professional manner and will not tolerate behaviour such as:

  • Physical Violence

  • Threats

  • Swearing at Others

  • Telling Offensive Jokes

  • Making Offensive Remarks

  • Name Calling

  • Shouting at Others

  • Persistent Rudeness

  • Displaying Offensive Material

  • Distributing Offensive Material by email or text

  • Other Forms of Harassment, Bullying or Victimisation

Volunteers

Daddy’s With Angels recognises that its clients will have diverse and changing needs and is committed to meeting these. We will continue to take steps to identify the needs of our clients and develop and implement appropriate policies and procedures accordingly.

Daddy’s With Angels expects representatives of the organisation to conduct themselves in a professional manner and will not tolerate behaviour such as:

  • Physical Violence

  • Threats

  • Swearing at Others

  • Telling Offensive Jokes

  • Making Offensive Remarks

  • Name Calling

  • Shouting at Others

  • Persistent Rudeness

  • Displaying Offensive Material

  • Distributing Offensive Material by email or text

  • Other Forms of Harassment, Bullying or Victimisation

The list above represents behaviour that Daddys With Angels considers to be disciplinary offences and appropriate action may be taken in accordance with our Disciplinary Procedure. However in the first instance, Daddys With Angels would hope that any possible misunderstandings between individuals can be resolved informally and will attempt to facilitate this procedure with any learning from the situation used to reduce the likelihood of conflict in the future.

Complaints of Discrimination

Daddys With Angels will take any complaints of unlawful discrimination seriously and will take action where appropriate. All complaints will be investigated in accordance with our Grievance, Complaints or Disciplinary Procedures and the outcome of the investigation will be communicated to the interested parties. Any Group will also monitor the number and outcomes of any complaints of discrimination.

 

Monitoring

Daddys With Angels will monitor and record equal opportunities information about volunteers, members, trustees (and staff if employed) on the basis of age, sex, ethnicity and disability. Where possible, information relating to sexual orientation, religion/belief and other protected characteristics may be collected as long as it does not cause discomfort and ensures opportunities are made more widely available.

All equal opportunities data will be stored as confidential personal data and access will be restricted.

Daddys With Angels will also monitor equal opportunities information relating to the clients of its services in order to improve access and uptake. This information will be general monitoring data and should not identify individual clients or compromise their privacy.

Review

Daddys With Angels undertakes to review this policy not less than once a year and to ensure that it commits to and reflects its progression.

 

 

 

 

Vulnerable Adults Protection Policy

 

 

 

The management of Daddys With Angels recognises that the protection and safety of vulnerable adults is everyone’s responsibility. Daddys With Angels defines a vulnerable adult based on the Law Commission’s definition – that a person who: ‘is or may be in need of community care services by reason of mental or other disability, age or illness; and who is or may be unable to take care of him or herself against significant harm or exploitation.’

In clarifying this further, Daddys With Angels adopts the Department of Health’s guidance in that an ‘adult’ refers to a person aged 18 years and over and that people with learning difficulties, mental health problems, older people and people with a disability or impairment will be included within this definition, particularly when their situation is complicated by additional factors, such as physical frailty or chronic illness, sensory impairment, challenging behaviour, drug or alcohol problems, social or emotional problems, poverty or homelessness.

This policy, the related procedures and the Code of Good Practice which follow establishes the roles and responsibilities of staff, in relation to the protection of vulnerable adults, with whom their work brings them into contact.

In relation to vulnerable adults, the approach Daddys With Angels will take is based on, and reflects, the principles of relevant legislation and guidance relating to the protection of vulnerable adults.

  • The welfare of the vulnerable adult is paramount consideration

  • All vulnerable adults, regardless of age, disability, gender, racial or ethnic origin, religious belief and sexual orientation have a right to protection from harm or abuse

The management are responsible for the protection of vulnerable adults within Daddys With Angels. They have designated the Director to oversee this on their behalf. This will include ensuring the implementation and monitoring of this policy.

In relation to recruitment and selection of staff, this will also include ensuring that all criminal disclosures are made regardless of when they were committed or whether they were of major or minor consequence including spent convictions under the rehabilitation of Offenders Act, and references taken which refer to candidates’ suitability to work/have contact with vulnerable adults.

It is also the responsibility of the management of Daddys With Angels, to ensure that all staff for whom they are responsible, are aware of and understand the importance of implementing this policy and the related procedures and code of good practice.

Management recognises that if vulnerable adults are to be truly protected it is essential that everyone working with vulnerable adults contributes to the work of those with direct responsibility for the protection of vulnerable adults. The procedures that follow recognise and are consistent with that objective and have been designed to complement Local Authority procedures.

As a responsible body, we cannot and should not restrict our sense of duty to those vulnerable adults we identify as our service users. Staff, through their work, comes into contact with a number of vulnerable adults each and every year. By being vigilant and acting where concerns exist, we can play an important part in their protection.

In operating this policy, staff must also be aware that, in order to protect vulnerable adults, in some circumstances it will be necessary to share what might normally be regarded as confidential information. The following principles should be adhered to:

  • Information will only be shared on a need to know basis

  • Information will only be shared when it is in the best interests of the service users

  • Confidentiality must not be confused with secrecy

  • Informed consent should be obtained but if this is not possible and other vulnerable adults are at risk it may be necessary to override it.

Guidance in the form of a Code of Good Practice has also been developed to provide staff with ideas which not only will help to protect vulnerable adults, but will also help to identify any practices which could mistakenly interpreted and perhaps lead to false allegations of abuse. Staff should familiarise themselves with this and if it is necessary to carry out practices contrary to it, only do so after discussion with, and the approval of, the management.

Remember, the first priority should always be to ensure the safety and protection of vulnerable adults and that is I s the responsibility of all staff to act on any suspicion or evidence of abuse or neglect.

 

End of Vulnerable Adults Protection Policy.

 

 

Vulnerable Adults Protection Procedure

 

 

 

 

Part One

PROCEDURE TO BE FOLLOWED IF YOU THINK A VULNEABLE ADULTS MAY BE AT RISK OF ABUSE, IS BEING, OR HAS BEEN, ABUSED EITHER BY:

  • A member of staff

  • A member of their family

  • Any other person, including another vulnerable adults

The management of Daddys With Angels are responsible for ensuring that all staff, for whom they are responsible, are aware of and understand the importance of implementing these procedures. Even though the overwhelming majority of vulnerable adults, which you will come into contact with through your work are likely to experience a perfectly safe and happy life.

It is recognised as well, that a percentage of the vulnerable adults that you come in to contact with will, through the nature of their experiences, demonstrate behaviours that might be indicates of abuse. Many factors associated with disadvantage can also result in a vulnerable adults’ behaviour being affected, thereby making the identification of abuse even more difficult. You are not expected to suddenly become expert in the protection of vulnerable adults nor are you expecte4d to investigate abuse. You are , however, expected to comply with these procedures.

Staff, who for any reason become concerned that a vulnerable adult may be at riks of abuse, is being, or has been, abused must immediately report that concern to their line manager.

The line manager will discuss your concerns with you to clarify their cause and obtain all the known relevant information. This will then be forwarded to the appropriate local Social Services Department and then inform your line manager as soon as possible.

Should the concern relate to the groups line manager you should contact the Social Services Department directly.

END OF VULNERABLE ADULTS PROTECTION PROCEDURE PART ONE

 

 

 

 

 

Part Two

PROCEDURE TO BE FOLLOWED IF: A VULNERABLE ADULTS TELLS YOU THAT THEY ARE BEING, OR HAVE BEEN, ABUSED:

Vulnerable adults will occasionally disclose abuse to an individual they have come to feel they can trust. This happens for many reasons but the important thing to remember is that if they do tell y9ou, they are doing so in the hope that you will act to stop it happening, even if they ask you not to do anything with the information.

Vulnerable adults may feel as if they are betraying someone they are close to and whome they love. It is not unusual for a vulnerable adult to love the abuser but want the abuse to stop, especially when that person is a family member or carer. Equally, it may be someone they fear e.g. a person whom they perceive to be able to influence decisions concerning their future. Either way, it takes great courage for a vulnerable adult to talk about abuse and your response can be crucial.

It is important to remember too, that it can be more difficult for some vulnerable adults to tell than for others. Vulnerable adults who have experienced prejudice and discrimination through racism may well believe that people from other ethnic groups or backgrounds don’t really care about them. They may have little reason to trust those they see as authority figures and may wonder whether you will be any different.

Vulnerable adults with a disability will have to overcome barriers before disclosing abuse. They may well rely on the abuser for their daily care and have no knowledge of alternative sources.

If a vulnerable adult discloses abuse to you in the course of your work it is important to react appropriately.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do: Do Not:

  • Remain calm and receptive

  • Listen without interrupting

  • Only ask questions of clarification if you are unclear what the vulnerable adult is saying

  • Make it clear you take them seriously

  • Acknowledge their courage in telling you

  • Tell them they are not responsible for the abuse

  • Let them know you will do what you can to help them and, where possible, get their consent to inform your line manager and local Social Services Department

  • Allow your shock or distaste to show

  • Probe for more information/ask other questions

  • Make assumptions or speculate

  • Make negative comments about the abuser

  • Make promises you cannot keep

  • Agree to keep the information secret

 

 

It is therefore, essential that everything possible is done to protect the vulnerable adults, who place their trust in us. If a vulnerable adults tells you that they are being, or have been, abused you must:

  • Make an immediate record of what the vulnerable adults has said, using their own words

  • Follow the instructions for reporting to your line manager, as set out in procedure one

  • Tell them that you will have to inform your line manager and that if appropriate the relevant authorities will also have to be informed.

END OF VULNERABLE ADULTS PROTECTIONS PROCEDURE PART TWO.

 

 

 

 

Vulnerable Adults Protection Code of Good Practice

 

This code has been developed to provide you with advice that not only will help protect vulnerable adults, but will also help you and your colleagues identify any practices which could be mistakenly interpreted and perhaps lead to false allegations of abuse.

Good practice will also protect Daddys With Angels through reducing the possibility of anyone using their role to gain access to vulnerable adults, on order to abuse.

While it is not intended that this code should restrict staff from normal ways of working e.g. comforting a distressed vulnerable adults through providing a hug, there is much they can do to avoid situations that may give rise to misinterpretation, which will also work to protect vulnerable adults.

If in doubt, consider how an action or activity may be perceived as opposed to how it is intended.

Wherever possible, you should be guided by the following advice.

If it is necessary to carry out practices contrary to it, you should only do so after discussion with, and the approval of, your line manager.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Avoid unobserved situations of one – to – one contact with a vulnerable adult. If it is unavoidable, always keep a door open and ensure you are within the hearing of other adults

  • Never invite a vulnerable adults to your home without the knowledge and consent of the carers and your line manager

  • Never offer to or take a vulnerable adult alone in your own vehicle without the knowledge and consent of the carers and your line manager

  • If it is necessary to do things of a ‘personal’ nature for a vulnerable adults, e.g. toileting if they are disabled, ensure these are carried out with the full knowledge of the carers and your line manager

  • Develop a culture in which staff feels comfortable enough to point out inappropriate attitudes and behaviours to each other

  • Don’t engage in or allow any sexually provocative games involving or observed by vulnerable adults, whether based on talking or touching

  • Never make suggestive remarks or discriminatory comments to a vulnerable adult

  • Don’t engage in or tolerate any bullying of a vulnerable adult, either by vulnerable adults or other people

  • Don’t engage in or tolerate inappropriate physical activity involving vulnerable adults

  • Never enter a room where a vulnerable adult may be changing their clothes or not be fully dressed, without first clearly getting their consent to enter

  • Respect all vulnerable adults, regardless of their age, gender, ethnicity, disability or sexual identity

  • Avoid ‘favouritism’ and singling-out ‘troublemakers’

  • Never trivialise abuse

  • Never let allegations by a vulnerable adult go unreported, including any made against you.

END OF CODE OF GOOD PRACTICE

 

Glossary

 

Born Sleeping – Stillborn

Missed Miscarriage – A miscarriage that has gone unnoticed and picked up on an ultrasound scan

Complete Miscarriage – A miscarriage where baby and all product such as placenta and sac have passed

Incomplete Miscarriage – A miscarriage where after baby has passed there is still some retained product such as some of the placenta left behind in the uterus

Medical Management of Miscarriage – where medication is used to speed up a missed miscarriage without surgical intervention

Born Too Soon: Premature baby that died

Incompetent Cervix: When the cervix is weakened and shortens early in pregnancy and can lead to premature rupture of membranes, premature labour. This can sometimes be treated with a cervical stitch although not always successful

PROM – premature rupture of membranes – waters break too early in pregnancy

TFMR – termination for medical reasons (such as when a baby is diagnosed with a life threatening condition that will affect their quality of life or chances of survival or when mothers life is at risk in continuing the pregnancy)

Angel Baby – A baby that is sadly lost to a miscarriage, stillbirth or lost in the weeks, months or years after birth

SIDS – Sudden Infant Death Syndrome also known as Cot Death

Sunshine Baby – A child born before a loss (sunshine before the rain/storm)

Rainbow Baby – A child born after a loss, It is understood that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm, or that the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with the aftermath. It means that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds, storm clouds may still hover over but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of colour, energy and hope.

Forever Bed, our babies garden – our babies final resting place

 

 

Links

 

Community Page: http://facebook.com/DaddysWithAngels?ref=hi

Dads Only Facebook Group: http://www.facebook.com/groups32930123838641

Mums and Dads Facebook Group: http://www.facebook.com/groups/136004399807343/?fref=ts

Dads Only Pro-Board Forum: http://daddyswithangels.proboards.com

Mums and Dads Pro-Board Forum: http://daddyswithangelsmumsanddads.proboards.com

Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/daddyswithangels?feature=mhee

Blog: http://daddyswithangels-wordpress.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Footnote:

The link to our blog is: http://DaddysWithAngels-wordpress.com

 

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About Daddys with Angels.

We began as a group for grieving fathers and men in families, but other family members asked to join us. We now also have a group for Families with Angels dads and other male family members and siblings under 18. We have experienced and live with the harsh pain of loss and we hope we can bring other comfort with what we do, To find us please search for us on face book or www.daddyswithangels.org/. Hugs to you all and floaty kisses to all your angels. We retain the name Daddys With Angels.
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