Here for you in your loss.
Claire and I got together in 1995 and were married in the February of 1997. After trying for several years hoping to have a family of our own with no joy ,we went for tests at our local hospital fertility clinic in Coventry, West Midlands. In 2000, after several tests we were told we needed medical intervention to help us become a family so opted for I.V.F treatment .The treatment was successful.
When our Daughter turned 4 we thought about having another child so knowing we would need several thousands of pounds to cover the costs of the treatment we started to save. Claire decided to go to work to raise the funds quicker. Then in the December of 2005 Claire became pregnant naturally. After the shock wore off ,the joy started to take place, For several months we were questioned and teased about who the father was as our family and friends knew we had fertility problems. Doubt and questions started to fill my mind. The pregnancy was going well and normal until later on in the pregnancy.
Claire went to see her .consultant, for what we thought was a routine check up,but saw a junior doctor instead. The doctor performed a stretch and sweep to start the process of labour as she was due around this time. She was sent home in complete distress and pain and was to go to bed with a few pain killers. After a long night of discomfort, pain and advice from the labour ward to take a bath and take pain killers, they informed us she was in the early stages of labour”
Claire was full term at this stage . Our Daughter was 6 weeks premature and was delivered by emergency caesarian section ,due to pre-eclampsia and fears of loosing both mother and child .So with Ben ,this stage was all new to us. On the 17th of September in 2006, Claire had had a few hours sleep and hadn’t felt any movements . The scariest thing of all she was calm as any thing .I called the hospital again and was told to take her straight in. So with hidden fear we did as we were told and attended the labour ward . Claire was seen by a junior midwife, on her first ever shift, and was put straight onto a monitor . At first the young midwife thought she picked up a heart beat ,just to find out it was Claire’s, A senior midwife came in and tried to find a heartbeat, but nothing. Then a doctor. To confirm our fears they did a scan. After several minutes ,no time to think the doctor sat us down and said we will deliver you today . We had no time to get our heads around what we had just been told , but this is what’s going to happen next. We went out side to think about informing relatives. We decided we needed to wait and get our heads around what was going on. Ben was delivered naturally on the morning of the 19th of September 2006.
Ben was buried few weeks later. In a white coffin He wore some clothes , a white hat and was wrapped in a blue and white blanket. Claire didn’t want him being cold. A teddy was put in his coffin and a cross necklace around his neck.
I joined Daddy’s with Angels about 18 months ago and became a member of the Admin team around a year ago. Daddy’s with Angels has helped me loads within this time . I have been able to use my experience and knowledge as a grieving father, son and a uncle to help other’s come to terms with there loss. I have been able to offer support and advice where necessary. I have shared my feelings and emotions through my own personal poetry . Writing this shows how much they’ve helped me as this is the first time I’ve been able to freely share my own personal story as a grieving father To Daddys with Angels I am truly grateful and blessed as if it wasn’t for this group who knows where I would be now.